you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
