do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
