frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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