I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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