not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
