Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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