you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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