Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize