i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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