i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
