We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
