he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
