I'm jealous of your bromance
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
