great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
