I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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