So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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