ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I will be naked everywhere
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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