so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize