Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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