Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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