so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
