Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
