I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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