did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
