Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
