32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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