I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
