we made out on top of his cat.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize