Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
