Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
