He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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