Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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