Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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