so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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