I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
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Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I didn't notice because vodka
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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