And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
