I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
