my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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