He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Found your dick twin last night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize