And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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