Dual....:-)
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
