Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
