two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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