Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i dont even know how to be here
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
