Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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