i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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