I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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