I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
