In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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