Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
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After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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