the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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