Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
