...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
