it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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