Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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