so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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