why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
