the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
