yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
