Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
