I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.