i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
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Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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