I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
