also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter