i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
