He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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