The maid of honor just puked.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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