...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
