But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i barfeds in our rink
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize