if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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