I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize