My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
