I hope mine doesn't look like that
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
